A**Hole in One: Mommy's Milli Monster

The following A**Hole in One story was sent from my friend, Rebekah following a heated bedtime battle with her three year old daughter, Milli.

The other night as we were trying our very hardest to get our daughter, Milli, who has the extraordinary ability to grin and ignore every single direction, request, or plea from her parents, ready for bed, we had this very special episode:

Me: Milli, come in the bathroom it is time to go potty and brush your teeth.

Milli: ( Sings and dances in the hallway)

Me: Milli, it is time to get ready for bed.

Milli: (Sings, dances, grins in the hallway).

Me: Milli, if you do not come here and get ready for bed, we will not read Puff the Magic Dragon tonight.

Milli: (Sings, dances, grins and begins to roll on the floor clearly showing  me there will be a battle should I try to physically bring her in the bathroom).

Me: Okay, you lost Puff.

Milli: YOU ARE THE WORSTEST MOTHER EVER! I WILL NEVER HUG YOU AGAIN! YOU ARE NOT THE BESTEST! YOU ARE THE MEANEST! I WILL NEVER PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN! THESE ARE NOT THE COMFIEST PAJAMAS! AND I WILL NOT SNUGGLE! YOU ARE THE WORST SNUGGLER EVER! I'M GOING TO THROW EVERYTHING IN THE GARBAGE!!!!! DADDYYYYYYYY MOMMY IS THE WORSTEST!!!!!

Daddy: (Comes upstairs from the hockey game) Milli, what is the matter? Did you cooperate? 

Milli: Yes, Daddy. But, Mommy whined at me.

Daddy: Do you want to read Puff?

Milli: (The following said in the most sugary sweet voice) Yes, you can read it to me! I looooove Puff!! He is the bestest dragon ever! I love my comfy pajamas! They are my favorite! I love to snuggle! Do you want to snuggle, daddy?

I watch, sitting on the toilet, tooth brush in hand, in exhaustion and amazement as the little darling skips out the door with daddy.

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